Happy New Year Everyone

As I write this it is almost January the 1st 2014. I look towards the new year with optimism and with all what has gone on regarding myself, all I can say is ''Bring It On.'' I think I have been through a bit of a depression regarding how I have felt over the last few months. A lot of things have upset me, pissed me off and it could be the least little thing and I have wanted to basically cry. I was in Tesco's with Vince Christmas shopping and was going down the escalator with piped Christmas music in the store and I just wanted to cry, I felt so down. I struggle to say if it was depression or just feeling sorry for myself when there has been two people I was close to who have died just before Xmas of cancer, so I feel like I should be saying to stop acting like a twat!

So I look towards the start of the New Year with the my words of wisdom, "Live Every Day" and try to fill every day this year doing something really useful, or to justify to myself that it is useful. I have basically sat on my arse and not been to the gym, so that is where all my focus is going in 2014. Tomorrow morning I am going to get weighed and measured and get this carcase back on it's diet! I see all these photo's of guys with fit bodies thinking I really want to look like that but then as I look at these I'm sat on my arse, at the computer eating! I am making resolutions like everyone else but I seriously need to stick to them, I really need to, I just can keep going on the way I am, for my health, my life and my sanity. Wish me luck everyone.

I just want to wish whoever reads this occasional post a happy new year and if you read it, how about leaving me a message just to say you read it! Stay safe in 2014

5

Making A Comeback

I guess you can say I'm in a rut!

For the last couple of months I think I'm just feeling sorry for myself and fed up, of the way I feel and I seem to just want to not do anything. I need a good kick up the arse and get back into gear and be more positive and move forward with things. Work has got me fed up too, I had a good holiday and things started going wrong after I got back from my holiday. We were short of people on the late shift and put more pressure on me to keep the job somehow moving, then when the guy came back from his holiday the poor sod collapsed and had another 3 weeks off work. So to say it has been stressful isn't a joke!

So it has taken a few weeks to catch up and to be honest I was coping with it all, keeping cheerful and not let things get to me, but the last couple of weeks suddenly have got to when I can't hold things together and have got to me, well that is how I feel although things have gone well and we caught up at work. It has just taken it's toll on me. I'm knackered just want to sleep, don't want to do anything but sit by the computer and just look at nothing all night. I've not been to the gym since my summer holiday and I can tell, my weight is increasing and I'M FED UP!

So I need to plan to go to the gym, get back into it, start getting back into shape and hopefully start to get back to my old self again. Wish me luck please!

5

A Few Days Off

It's Friday and I'm towards the end of my week off on holiday from work. It's been a good rest, not done a great deal but sometimes doing nothing is just what you need! Had a breakdown with the boiler this week and basically they got the boiler working but I need a new boiler. The old boiler is old, they have stopped making any spare parts for the thing and they stopped producing it in 1996 so I have a guy from British Gas coming to see me in a couple of weeks. I'm going to have to look at getting a new one, what happens if it breaks down in winter and I'm stuck to get it repaired, all I know is it is going to cost at least £1500!

Went to see Julian Clary last night at New Theatre here in Hull. I really enjoyed it and it was a good laugh, he is so quick witted and always has some sort of an answer or joke when it is needed. Last time I saw Julian was in a gay pub in Soho called Rupert Street. He walked past me, in make up but he looked great and so tall too!

One of my harddrives crashed this week and I almost lost everything on it, Vince has managed to recover a lot of stuff, music, photo's and documents. I'm going to look at taking everything off and put them onto a Blu ray disc or two to back up then format the harddrive, hopefully that will sort out the problem on it. You don't realise just how much you collect over the years and how many duplicates you make. I like to make compilation albums and there are loads of albums I've made and you can tell the mood I was in at the time of making them!

5

Nice Day For A Ride

I went for a ride this morning, I was waiting for Vince to get back so we could go into town so I jumped on the bike and went out for an hour. My knee has been playing up again but has eased off a bit so I went to try it out. I did the usual route which I usually find helps blow the cobwebs off and today was no exception! It was sunny and warmish but the wind was quite strong so half the ride was ok and the rest was against a strong wind. Why can't I just have a good ride without killing myself due to a strong head wind. There was the road works too, which I had to ride as fast as I could so that I didn't stop the traffic behind me. I did enjoy the ride though and I hope that the weather is ok for me to go for a ride tomorrow, preferably without the wind!

5

X-Ray Hopes

I had the X-rays taken on my knee on Wednesday morning, managed to get in 15 minutes earlier than the appointment time so I was more or less in and out of the hospital. I had to laugh to myself as, even though it was my knee getting an x-ray, I still had to change and put an hospital gown on even though I was stood up to get have the x-ray taken. It's going to be another 7-10 days before the doctor get's the results so I don't know how long it will take for the physio to get back in touch. They had the x-rays at the hospital as they were checking them before I got dressed, I could have taken them to my doctors and saved them the hassle. Also my knee was really hurting the night before the hospital visit so I really hope it shows in the X-ray!

5

A Long Weekend Break

At last, after ringing up the physio again to find out why I hadn't had an x-ray appointment, an appointment turned up yesterday. I rang them to find out why I hadn't heard anything and I find out that the hospital never received the request from the physio, so I had to start it again and they have rushed it through. The appointment is for Wednesday 8th May at 9am so I won't be going to work to start with, but hopefully should get there for about 11am hopefully. Finally things are moving enough to get closer to getting my knee sorted and I just hope it is as quick to get the results and to get it worked on and repaired!

I have a long weekend which I'm pleased about just for the time from work and to chill out. I've got nothing planned but I will be going to the gym and the usual wander around town and no doubt will involve a coffee and a muffin at some point! The weather is supposed to be nice, so it might be bbq time I hope, but I just want it warm enough for me to wear my shorts, I don't ask for much!

5

The Weekend Is Over

I'm sat here just getting stuff ready for work and I'm wondering just where the weekend has gone! It has been another cold weekend, it was raining and hailstones fell whilst we were in town shopping and I just wonder if we are ever going to get any good weather? Had a couple of good workouts this weekend, getting used to the new gym now, it's not as good as Fitness First but it's ok for what I need. I've yet to go on a night time but I have to this week, I need to start getting a proper workout routine in place. I have spoken to a guy who used to be at the old gym about personal training which he is happy to do, but I'm still waiting on the X-ray for my knee. Once I have that sorted I can make plans about PT training.

April has been a really expensive month for me with so many birthdays and bills to pay, so I'm looking forward to May and to try and get some saving done, before you know it Christmas will be here again and I will be in the same state as I always am! I have vowed to make sure Christmas is paid for early so that there's money left for us so that we can enjoy the festivities too!

A friend of mine has asked why I don't set up a Twitter page for my bear Five, I as thinking about it as I could use it as my alter-ego and say the things I would like to say, or not! I'll think it over and just maybe do it and see just how many followers he gets. On Flickr, I always get asked about him and keep getting odd messages about why there's no photo's of him and the boys so he is popular on there!

5

Holiday Is Over

Been a nice week off this week, weather has been sunny but really cold until this weekend when it has started to warm up a little. It has been nice just relaxing and not doing a great deal, although it was a return to the gym this week. I've managed to do a full work out and even managed to run for a minute with no pain from my knee, obviously I didn't want to over do things so next week I'm gonna start pushing a little. This week was more of a get back into it and get used to the new machines at the gym. Some of them are quite different to what was at the old gym, but it's just a matter of getting used to them and also remembering what I used to do with my personal trainer!

Started to get some seeds planted this week too, got seedlings planted too, I just hope the weather warms up now and doesn't kill anything off. Last year the weather was pretty crap and hardly anything grew or like the tomatoes they just wouldn't turn red, stayed green and not even formed properly inside, so loads got thrown away.

So the plans for the next couple of weeks are to go to the gym on a night, see what it is really like, push myself a little with each visit there and hopefully strengthen the knee. I need to sort the diet out too, fine tune it a little as I haven't lost any weight this week, but I'm hopeful things will start to change again!

5

Back On The Bike

This morning I went out on my first bike ride in months and really enjoyed it. I didn't go fast, just went out to test the knee and it was fine, just got the odd twinge when I put a lot of pressure on it when stood off the seat to ride off from traffic lights. It felt great to put my cycling gear on and to know it's a good ride ahead of me! Today is Easter Sunday and it is lovely and sunny, still cold but really fresh and the clocks went forward early hours this morning so you get a feel that maybe spring is really here, let's hope so!

5

Start Afresh!

Finally got to the gym today, first time at Xercise4less in Hull and it's not a bad gym. Luckily when I walked in Amanda from Fitness First was there and we talked a little then she showed me where the changing rooms where. The place is huge with a lot of equipment but as she says it get's really busy around 6-8pm so they will be the times to avoid unless I just go to do some cardio. So today was just to see what I can do and managed 10 minutes on the cross trainer and the same on the treadmill. I went on one of the machines to work my legs but with barely some weight on just to move the knees and my legs are really stiff. Whilst I was talking to Amanda she noticed I'm hobbling a little but now I think it is more of a protection thing rather than an actual pain, so I got to work on that.

I tried to do some rowing but that was making my knee crack and so I stopped doing it, but will try again as it didn't actually hurt. So I think I'll carry on doing what I did at the last gym, have a good session over the weekend on my back and chest when I can get to the equipment easier. So I'm looking forward to getting back into the gym and I have missed it too!

5

Latest News!

I need a holiday, my Easter break is coming up next week and I just can't wait. Spring is suppose to be here but it has been snowing here and it is so cold. I need some sunshine or something to remind me that spring is just around the corner. I'm fed up of wearing winter clothes and not being able to wear less layers and wear stuff that I'm not gonna get soaked in!

Diet is going well, today I got weighed and I'm 81.2kgs which is around 12st 10lb which I'm chuffed about as I know the diet is beginning to work. I just need my knee to be ok. enough to get me to the gym anyhow. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get there and I can start to shift the pounds and get back to the weight I was any maybe lose a few more pounds and get to see my abs, that's my goal anyhow. Here is a photo of how I look right now, not very flattering but that is what I want so I can see where I was to where I get to!

Physio Day

Went to see the physio today and after some moving and pressing on my leg, she thinks I've got weakened muscle around my knee on the inner side. She found the area that hurts, pressed on it a lot and you could hear my knee cracking. She says that the weakened muscle is preventing my knee from moving in a straight line and is in fact moving at a slight angle, which is making the knee crack and is weak. So I have to go for an x-ray for my peace of mind she says and then I can start some physio with her to get the knee strengthened up again. She also aid there is no reason why I can't go back to the gym or start cycling again. So I plan to start the gym at the weekend, hopefully it will be a little quiet so that I can slowly get my knee working and the fact it is a new gym and got to get used to the place too! Can't wait!

5

Diet Time

The diet has started again today, I'm trying the diet I went on last time, cutting out carbs and eating chicken, veg and fruit. I had results last time and I'm hoping they will start again to show. I also want to be in reasonable shape for when I get back to the gym, so that I have the energy to get back into the cardio and weight training without having to lose weight first, then get into the cardio. I want a photo of me when I start the diet this time to compare for when I get so far into getting back in shape so I can look and see the results. I ought to get weighed and measured but to be honest right now I really can't be bothered tonight, maybe tomorrow!

5

Life's A Gas

Thursday night was a bizarre night. Around 9pm I could smell gas, didn't know where it was coming from then all of a sudden the smell went so I though nothing of it. When Vince came home I asked if he could smell gas and he could, but same thing happened. So around 11pm the smell got really strong so I called the gas people and they would send someone, but it would take about 2 hours so they told me to open a window and turn off the gas supply. He arrived about 12.30am and started to check the house and told me there was no leak in the house but the smell of gas was getting stronger. So he went outside to do some testing as there's a gas main outside the house.

He came in and told me to go outside as he found the cause of the leak, he stuck his probe through the letterbox of next door and it was coming from inside their house! He said "I need to be in there" so I was knocking on the window as he was banging on the door to finally wake them up. "Don't switch the light on" shouts the gas man but too late! The guy next door opens the door and the smell of gas just hits you and the gas man runs in and finds out he has left the gas ring switched on. I could hear him bollocking the next door neighbour as he is doing all the checking. So by the time things are sorted it is 2am in the morning and my bedroom is full of gas so the windows are open and I manage to get about 3 hours sleep.

I come home on Friday from work and the guy from next door knocks on the door, he wanted to say sorry and thanks for as he said for saving his life. It seems he was involved in an accident years ago and has no sense of smell. He had got drunk and decided to sort some food out and fallen asleep. The gas had gone out and was pumping gas for about 6 hours in the house, so I don't know if the beer knocked him out or if it was the gas. "It's microwave meals for me from now on" he said I laughed as it was such a strange carry on although he told me him and the gas man didn't get on and it seems they must have had words.

When I think about it, just how much damage a gas leak can cause and the fact me and the gas man were banging on the door trying to wake him up. What if it had ignited and could have blown us up or damaged the houses in the street, but thankfully it didn't happen and it was happy ever after!

5

Sad Return To The Gym

Went back to the gym today, first time I have been since September (or as I was told 124 days). I need to see what I can do workout wise, that isn't going to do too much damage to my knee and also to see the staff. As you might know from reading here, Fitness First is closing the gym down on the 4th of March and I'm pretty gutted about it but there's nothing that can be done. I wanted to see some of the staff as over the years you get to know some of them and it would be a shame not to say goodbye, even though some are going to the new gym that I'm going to. It is such a shame they couldn't save the place as I have a lot of good memories there, I did feel a slight sadness when I looked around

I got to the gym and it was really quiet, more quiet than usual on a Sunday, but some of the equipment has already gone, the heating isn't working and some of the machines are out of use. I tired to go on the cross trainer but it soon started hurting my knee, so I tried some other things and each brought a different ache to my knee which pissed me off. I can't use much and even using some of the machines say for chest or shoulders, you brace yourself using your knees and that is when I can feel it. It isn't going to stop me, I need to go this week even if I end up cycling all the time at least I'm doing something. I just hope they get my knee sorted next month!

5

Down At The Doctors (Part 2)

Went to see the nurse today to get some blood taken, went ok, pulse is really good. She said that she could tell I was an active guy because of my strong pulse, so that made me happy. I have put a stone on since I guess September, not happy about it but it just tells me more that once you make the decision to follow a healthy lifestyle, you have to keep it for life as the fat soon comes creeping back up on you, but saying that, she did weigh me with all my clothes and shoes on so I guess I could take several pounds off, maybe! I will get the results in about 10 days but she said not to expect a call as she thinks I'm in really good health and the issues that I have been concerned about were just off days.

Also today, finally the physio got in touch with me. It is bloody hard getting through to them as it has taken me 4 attempts, but they rang me tonight. They asked a few questions and she seemed to agree with the doctor's idea that it could be a torn cartilage in my knee. So I have made an appointment to see the physio but it is on March 13th at 10am, so I'm gonna have to take some time off work but I really want this sorting out as it has been going on since June last year! Fingers crossed they can sort it!

5

Down At The Doctors

Just got back from the doctors, I always feel guilty about going to doctors as there's always someone (I think anyhow) who needs their time more than me! Anyhow, she thinks that I might have a cartilage tear in my knee, so I have to get in touch with the physio service again. Also I have to go back on Tuesday for some blood tests, get myself sorted, checked and if I need them, pills to get me back into tip top condition. Wish me luck!

5

Non Starter

This year so far has started out ok. Not been to the gym since September, health really been a bit iffy I guess as 3 months of getting over my virus that I had, my on going knee problem and the lack of will to get my fat arse down to the gym hasn't helped me at all. I am back at doctors this week (Wednesday) to get my knee sorted once and for all, the meds they gave me have stopped the pain but it is really weak and sporadic pain from it means there's no way I can stand and put pressure on my leg, stand on one leg or even think of running till I know once and for all what it is!

Talking gyms, I got my letter from Fitness First saying they are shutting the gym down in March which is a real shame, I started at the new gym but still have to set foot into the place, but I will. I know also how, once you set out on a diet and change the way you eat, it has to be forever, it has to be a way of life. I have noticed through my months of inactivity that the weight has come back on and I am struggling to get my head back into the idea of dieting again. All the crappy food from Christmas has gone and I am on a sort of healthy eating plan but need to really tighten it up and get it sorted.

Back on 5 day week again from this week, before Christmas we went on 3 days and I have had 2 weeks of 4 days but I needed it this week as I have had yet another heavy cold, but not as bad as the one I had which caused my virus problems. My goals this year are still the same, to lose weight, build muscle and to run and keep on cycling as well as I have not done much of that at all. I'm not impressed with myself at all, time for the proverbial kick up the arse!

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